


the mod squad goes to mcdonald's

by Anonymous



Category: RPF - Fandom, Real Person Fiction, The Ant Colony RPF
Genre: i got tired around the end because i haven't been writing a lot lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:35:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24604024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Don’t ask me why, they just do bc they deserve it idk.
Kudos: 5
Collections: Anonymous





	the mod squad goes to mcdonald's

**Author's Note:**

> Alternative title: the mod squad terrorizes a minimum wage worker just for some mickey d’s.  
> It's in an undisclosed location but presumably in the US. Sorry if you wanted cool foods or something.  
> Also fun exercise is to headcanon who's driving. I'd love to know.

“ _ Really _ ?” Abby asked as the group pulled into the parking lot. The sun had set around an hour ago. The street lights lit up their vehicle as the large group piled out. 

“Thank god we’re finally here.” Isaac grumbled, stretching as he climbed out. “I can finally breathe.”

“It should be illegal to put that many people in one car.” Mel complained.

“Pretty sure it  _ is. _ ” Lo pushed the seats forward and stepped out of the backseats.

“ _ Here _ ? We’re eating  _ here _ ?” Josie asked dubiously. She stared at their destination.

In front of them, the light from the windows illuminated the one-story building standing in front of them. A thin silver band wrapped around the top of a gray brick exterior. On top of the door, a pure red sign was attached to the exterior of the building, with a golden “M” adorning it. 

They were at a McDonald’s.

“Of all the places we could have eaten…” Silver muttered. 

“What? This is the best.” Eric said, walking towards the door. The group reluctantly followed. “I haven’t eaten here in a long time.”

“I’m down for some Maccies.” Lycel said with a shrug. 

“Sorry,  _ what _ ? ‘Maccies’?” Lloyd looked at Lycel. “It’s Mci’s.”

“You’re both wrong.” Seth pinched the bridge of his nose.

The door swung open and the group held the door open in a very long line. The singular employee made eye contact with them and knew immediately that they were going to cause trouble.

“Hi there!” Sni said with a smile, and turned to the rest of the group. “What are you guys getting?”

Maddie shrugged. “Don’t ask me! You order first.” 

“Right.” Sni turned back to the employee. “Could I get an Oreo McFlurry?”

“Are we all paying separately?” Lloyd asked, looking absentmindedly at his wallet. 

“Don’t worry about it.” Misa said.

“What?” Burgerz started. “I think I will, thanks. Do you think I’m made of money?” 

“I’ll pay!” Oliver said.

Jolie glared at him. “Not a chance. I’m paying.”

The worker coughed awkwardly.

“I’ll pay for anyone who can’t pay.” Jolie said, with finality.

“Not a problem with me.” Celeste said with a grin. “It’s free food.”

“Can we order, please?” Tanner was getting embarrassed. 

Abby smiled at the worker apologetically. “Could I get 20 piece chicken nuggets?” the worker printed out a receipt and handed it to her as she paid. She walked to the tables and began to rearrange them into one large table. The group heard the clattering of metal chairs in the background.

“Could I get an iced coffee?” Sucrose asked. 

“You’d order that.” Lloyd muttered. Sucrose elbowed him. 

“I changed my mind. I’m not paying for you.”

“You were paying for me in the first place?” he looked surprised. She rolled her eyes and took her receipt from the employee, moving to the tables with Abby.

Jolie was the next to order. She got a sweet tea and a big mac meal. By now, the employee was starting to crack, clearly very fed up with them.

“Can we hurry this up just a tiny bit, please?” Mac’s face was red. 

“I’ll have a large big mac meal.” Mel said, making direct eye contact with Mac. Lo snickered.

“Could I have chicken selects, fries and a chocolate milkshake?” Oliver continued, pulling out his wallet. “Also, I can pay for everyone else.” 

Jolie shot him a glare from the table. 

After an ungodly amount of orders, the worker forced a smile and told him the total. Oliver winced just a little at the price, but paid up regardless. He was handed a CVS-size receipt. The group moved to the tables, which were arranged for them by now.

“We  _ are  _ going to put these tables back, right?” Maizey asked as she pulled up a chair and sat down. 

“Obviously.” Arvin pulled out a chair, then began to head towards the condiments. 

“Hey, hold on. What are you doing?” 

“Getting ketchup, isn’t it obvious?” Arvin began to grab handfuls of ketchup packets. Tanner got up as well and started mixing up a soda concoction with the machine. Ice spilled out of the dispenser and underneath the grates. 

“You’re going to break the machines.” Misa said with an eye roll. “Stop that.” The employee had gone to the back to work on their orders, and wasn’t witnessing the crimes being committed.

“Hey, mix in some lemonade and sprite. It’s really good.” Maddie called. 

Arvin came back to the table and threw a mountain of packets onto the center of the table. “Enjoy.”

“Are we  _ eating  _ ketchup?” Jolie asked, pushing the ketchup away from her side of the table. 

“Ketchup with a side of fries, as I always say.” Oliver muttered. He took a few packets. 

“We’re being extremely rude.” Mac covered his face in embarrassment. He eyed the counter nervously. The employee had not returned yet.

“It’s fine, we’ll clean it all up later.” Burgerz said with a wave of his hand. Meanwhile, Tanner had come back with his cup of assorted sodas and had begun to sip it. His face scrunched up indescribably at first, but he continued to drink it.

“What does it taste like?” Sni asked.

Tanner clicked his tongue. “Purple.”

“Fair enough.” Sucrose said with a laugh. 

Abby’s order was first to arrive. She picked up her chicken nuggets and sat down again, grinning wildly.

The employee caught sight of their pile of ketchup and called to them. “Please don’t take that many.” Mac looked embarrassed to be associated with them. 

“You heard them, Arv. Go put it back.” Lloyd elbowed Arvin, who sighed and got up to put a good amount back.

“Chicken nuggies.” Abby declared proudly, opening up the cardboard packaging to reveal a large stack of nuggets. Silver reached for one, but she slapped his hand away. “Get your own!”

“I’m hungry.” he whined, but backed up anyway. 

“I haven’t had chicken nuggies in so long.” Abby popped one in her mouth. “There’s something very special about them.”

“Right, so you should share.” Eric said, holding a hand out. She glared at him, moving her box a little closer to her. 

“Do you regret paying now?” Mel asked Oliver. He shrugged. 

“Mostly I regret becoming friends with you guys.” he said.

“Who said we’re friends?” Celeste asked, scrunching up her face.

Sni picked up her McFlurry from the counter and began to eat it, without grace. 

“ _ I _ should’ve ordered a McFlurry.” Lycel muttered jealously.

“Then go get one right now?” Sni scooped more of the McFlurry into her mouth. 

“We’ve been way too annoying already.” Lycel watched Jolie get up and claim her sweet tea and big mac.

“Look, Mac, it’s you.” Jolie held up the burger.

“I think it’s also me.” Burgerz muttered. 

Mac held out an accusatory pointer finger. “There can only be one.”

“Ladies, ladies.” Isaac said with a yawn. “You’re both cute. Just eat.”

“I got a big mac too.” Mel held up her own burger. “Does this count as cannibalism?”

“Don’t think about it too much.” Maddie said. She took a sip of her own drink.

“Couldn’t we have gone through the drive through?” Mac took a bite out of some fries. “It would have been much less disruptive.”

“I feel like waiting in the car for that long would have been hell on earth.” Lo protested. 

“I think the employees would have appreciated it more.” Tanner said with a shrug. 

Oliver fetched his meal and sat down. The group eyed the fries. He glared at them. “Get your own!”

“Come on, sharing is caring.” Eric said. 

“You all got your own food. Why are you trying to eat other people’s?” Oliver shoved a handful of fries into his mouth. 

“Free food just tastes better.” Seth said with a shrug. 

Oliver tossed a french fry at Seth’s face, who flinched as it hit his chin. He gasped, clearly hurt, and grabbed the limp fry. It went flying at Oliver, who dodged it. It landed pitifully on the floor.

“Guys-” Misa covered her face. The worker looked like they were about to cry.

Mac moved quickly to pick up the fry. He tossed it into the trash can and tried to apologetically smile at the worker. 

Seth snatched another fry from Oliver and ate it as fast as he could. Oliver gasped. “That’s theft!” 

“So what? You have like 50 more.” he grinned as he swallowed.

“We have enough fries to go around.” Maddie held out her own fries as a peace offering. 

But Oliver could not be satiated. He grabbed a handful and threw it at Seth’s face. They rebounded off his face and all around the table, including the floor.

“Guys!” Abby yelled, exasperated. Seth reached over the table and grabbed Oliver’s milkshake. By now, the group was begging the others to stop. Seth reared back, making sure to keep the cup out of reach, and uncapped the lid before unceremoniously dumping it onto Oliver’s shirt.

There was a unanimous gasp from the table. Oliver jumped up in surprise. The chairs made a loud clattering sound as they moved.

“Dude!” Oliver said, only half-joking. He moved his hands quickly down his shirt to try and wipe some off, then looked up at Seth. “You’re going to regret that.” 

Seth already looked way in over his head.

“Excuse me-” the employee said, but was quickly cut off as Oliver dumped what was left of his fries all over Seth, and by extension the rest of the table.

“Cool it!” Maddie threw a fry at Oliver, who tried to deflect it with his forearm. Sni attempted to gather the fries from the floor. 

“Are we doing this now?” Sucrose asked eagerly. She proceeded to dump her iced coffee over Eric’s head, who screamed in protest.

“What did I do?” he asked, eyes closed. 

“Um, everything?” Maizey replied, laughing at Eric’s stained clothing. “I would dump another coffee over you, but I don’t have one.”

The table was now a mess of fries and soda. Tanner picked up his tray to prevent it being stained by the liquids. “I like my drink, I’m not wasting it.”

“Oh, come on!” Lloyd said. He picked up his box of chicken nuggets and threw one at Tanner. “You can just refill it.”

“I could’ve eaten that!” Tanner cried sadly as he watched it bounce pitifully onto the floor. He took another sip of his concoction.

“Excuse me!” the employee repeated, this time with conviction. The group turned to them. “I’d like to request that you leave now, please.”

“Not all of our orders are finished.” Burgerz pointed out.

“As soon as they  _ are  _ finished, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

“Just a minute!” Lycel reached over as Tanner was distracted and plucked the drink out of his hands. Before Tanner could react, she poured it all over him. 

There were more screams from the table. 

“I spent time on that drink!” he said, fake hurt. Tanner grabbed Lloyd’s open box of chicken nuggets and dumped it on top of Lycel. She let out a scream. 

Eric had taken off his glasses and was cleaning them of iced coffee. His shirt had not fared as well and he was sopping wet. “If I had fries, I would be throwing them at you right now.” he told Lycel, who was currently being pelted from all sides by the table. Abby looked like she wanted to crawl under the table in a fetal position and die.

“Help!” Lycel cried, feebly grabbing fries off the floor and throwing them back. She was being backed into a corner of the room. 

There was a clattering from the soda machine: Josie began to push the ice button and grabbed a handful. With some difficulty, she began to lob little cubes at the rest of the group. One hit Silver square on the neck, and he shrieked as it slid down his shirt. 

Lycel stopped cowering and flashed a grin at Josie. She picked up a fistful of fries from the ground and threw them at the table. Together, the two performed a pincer attack on the group. 

By now, the group had taken up two factions- one that actively participated in the food fight, and one that worked to try and stop the fight. Abby, Mac, Mel, Jolie, Eric, and Tanner were on the side that tried to stop the others. Mel grabbed as many napkins as she could and tried to wipe the table. Fries bounced off of her back as she worked. 

“Stop!” begged Mac, who managed to wrench Josie away from the soda machine. Josie laughed, but calmed, and threw what was left of the ice towards the general direction of the group. He pushed her towards the door, and Abby and Jolie attempted to get the rest of the group outside as well.

Lycel was one of the first people to go. She kept picking up fries off the ground as Abby wrapped her arms around her, shrieking as Abby did. “We were winning!” Lycel protested sadly as she was pushed out the door.

The employee had left the back and was now standing in the restaurant with them. In their hands they held a wet floor sign, along with a closing sign. They dropped the wet floor sign on the ground with a thump, clearly very done with everything. Then they moved to the door, hanging the closed sign on the handle. The worker turned to the group. “I’d like to ask that you leave. Now. I’m sorry, but we’re closed.”

Tanner made a face, taking a break from cleaning his own glasses. “Sorry!” he looked at the group, shooting them death glares. “We will be leaving now.” When he spoke, he made sure to emphasize that there was no choice. The group obeyed when they heard Tanner’s tone of voice. 

“Sorry.” Eric mumbled as he filed out the door. The sound of echoing feet was the only thing audible in the building. 

“I’d  _ also _ like to request that you never come to another McDonald’s establishment in this area again.” the employee said. They began to take out a mop and bucket. 

“You haven’t seen the last of us!” Maddie yelled as she walked out the door. Mac gave her an embarrassed shove. 

They navigated to their car in the dark, as it was well into the night by now, with only the street lamps as their guides. Lo fumbled with the car door and eventually it slid open noisily. The group piled recklessly into the car, some of them whooping and cheering. Isaac munched on some nuggets as he got in, while Misa helped wipe off Tanner and Eric so they wouldn’t stain the seats.

There was a moment of silence as the car engine sputtered on. The headlights flickered on and they began to back up.

“So,” said Arvin, who was in the front seat. “Where are we off to next?” 


End file.
